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Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on June 16, 2010 at 2:47am

When Fights Over Money Ruin Marriages

(by Joe Mont)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Much has been written about how tough economic times have forced couples to postpone divorces. They just can't afford it. Legal costs and accountant fees grow as a union dissolves and a two-income household lives cheaper than a two-household pair of singles.


As the economy improves, we will probably see divorce rates creep up. But even if money woes are keeping couples together, financial disputes remain the root cause of irreconcilable differences.


(Here are seven common financial issues that can lead to divorce):


1- Paycheck Envy

More women are entering marriage with assets of their own and many are earning more than their spouses. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, one in three married women out-earns her husband. That amount expands to more than half if they earn $55,000 or more.



Men can feel threatened by not having their traditional bragging rights as breadwinners. For women, it means they have their own money to protect from the irresponsible actions of a mate. With more at-stake, women can't afford to be deferential to their mate the way past generations were.



2- Debt

Utah State University professor Jeffrey Dew authored a widely cited study that concluded that couples who argue about finances at least once a week are 30% more likely to divorce than those who only vent occasionally about money issues. Couples with no assets were 70% more likely to divorce compared to couples with assets of $10,000.


Cutting into the ability to build assets is America's longstanding addiction to credit cards, but there may be cause for optimism. Having amassed a record-setting $988 billion in revolving debt in 2008, Americans chipped away at nearly $90 billion of it last year, according to the Federal Reserve. Fewer credit cards and less debt should mean increased savings, more assets and potentially happier couples.



3- Bills

As part of a survey last year, Fidelity Investments found that less than half of couples make day-to-day financial decisions together on issues such as budgeting and paying bills (45%).


In many couples, one person always pays monthly bills early while the other might procrastinate until the due date and beyond. Cutting checks can be even more stressful when an unnecessary shopping spree blows the monthly budget or a mate doesn't take kindly to the premium cable channels or costly text messages their better half piles into the mix.



4- Saving

While one half of a relationship may be thrifty, dedicated to building savings and committed to a retirement plan, the other may be more carefree, with a "live for today, you can't take it with you" outlook.



5- Investing
One can assume that investment decisions are increasingly dividing couples if both partners are financially savvy. Risk tolerance may be incompatible, with goals out-of-synch.


Dump Apple or go long may be as divisive a debate as how often a mother-in-law should visit. Looking over an investment portfolio or 401(k) plan, one spouse may want to explore emerging market funds, while the other dismisses anything but safe domestic large caps and bonds.


Can a quant guy find true happiness with a fundamental-analysis kind of gal?



6- Differing Expectations

There's no shortage of men and women who value money more than love and companionship. You may be quite content to "live on love" and weather financial situations "for better or worse." But she may feel entitled to a McMansion in a tony suburb and a Mercedes in which to drive your kids to private school. Trouble will be brewing along with her high-priced lattes.



7- Secret Stash

Financial infidelity is a newly coined term that describes situations in which a spouse hides cash or credit from his mate.


It may seem a good idea to have a secret credit card or bank account that you can dip into, but your partner will probably take great offense at the covert action. Beyond the financial dishonesty on display, such hidden reserves may be a warning sign of even bigger transgressions -- keeping a slush fund to pay for strip club tabs or supporting a mistress on the sly.

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on June 16, 2010 at 3:03am

How To Keep Your Best Employees On Board: Workers Are Motivated By More Than Money

DON'T LOSE YOUR EMPLOYEES: Money is nice. But attention, recognition and the chance to learn new skills are the key to keeping top performers on board as the job market improves, experts say.

More people are quitting their jobs voluntarily than getting laid off now. Human resources experts say employers can take several steps to keep employees from leaving, even when a competitor offers a higher salary.

Americans remain nervous about job stability, while the still-recovering economy means companies are largely not doling out lavish salary increases, said Harry Osle, a principal in consultancy Hackett Group Inc.'s human resources practice.

So what'll do the trick? Go personal and communicate. Employees "will be more hesitant to make a jump if they feel like they're part of a family, an organization that's investing in them," Osle said.

-- Make sure employees know what company goals are during the recovery from the recession, said Sayed Sadjady, who works on talent management for PricewaterhouseCoopers. New projects, a quest to regain lost market share -- these "bring excitement."

-- Mentoring and coaching relationships are also crucial, especially if mentors traveled a similar career path, Sadjady said. Isolated employees can feel they have no prospects with the company.

-- Employees need to learn new skills. Even if a promotion is not available, challenge high potential workers with projects that will enable them to learn new skills and take on a new role, said Tim Schoonover, the chairman of career consulting firm OI Partners. Otherwise, top performers will leave, he said.

-- Recognition. "People want to be appreciated. Give them attention," Schoonover said.

-- Flexible work schedules are also important, said Sadjady.

RANKING JOB MARKETS: Miami might have nice beaches, but it's also the most competitive major job market in the country, according to jobs search engine Indeed.com.

Indeed crunched the numbers of government unemployment data released earlier this month, ranking the 50 biggest metropolitan areas by number of jobless per job posting.

The least competitive job markets, broadly, were the Washington area; San Jose, Calif.; Baltimore; and New York, according to Indeed.com. Each had one job posting per jobless person.

Rounding out the top 10 least competitive were Hartford, Conn.; Oklahoma City, Okla.; Salt Lake City; Seattle; Boston; and Milwaukee.

The most competitive job markets were Tampa; St. Louis; Jacksonville, Fla.; Orlando, Fla.; Chicago; Sacramento, Calif.; Riverside, Calif.; Los Angeles; Las Vegas; Detroit; and Miami.

Indeed.com based their rankings on metropolitan jobless rates for April, released June 2 by the Labor Department.

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on June 16, 2010 at 9:55pm

40 Fantastic Uses For Baking Soda

By Melissa Breyer
Posted Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:01am PDT

Most of us know that baking soda can be used for more than just making homemade cookies and other dough rise. It's not uncommon to see an open box of this leavening agent deodorizing refrigerators, for example. But did you know that there are at least 40 different ways to use baking soda?

Baking soda makes a perfect stand-in for many personal care, cleaning, and deodorizing products. The list of benefits is long: It is inexpensive, free of toxic chemicals, versatile, and effective.

Wondering how baking soda, aka sodium bicarbonate, works its magic? It helps regulate pH — keeping a substance neither too acidic nor too alkaline. When baking soda comes in contact with either an acidic or an alkaline substance, its natural effect is to neutralize that pH. Beyond that, baking soda has the ability to retard further changes in the pH balance, known as buffering.

This dual capability of neutralizing and buffering allows baking soda to do things such as neutralize acidic odors (like in the refrigerator) as well as maintain neutral pH (like in your laundry water, which helps boost your detergent's power). It's a simple reaction, but one that has far-reaching effects for a number of cleaning and deodorizing tasks.

And so without further ado, here are some of the many creative ways you can use baking soda.

Personal Care
1. Make toothpaste
A paste made from baking soda and a 3 percent hydrogen peroxide solution can be used as an alternative to commercial non-fluoride toothpastes. (Or here’s a formula for a minty version.) You can also just dip your toothbrush with toothpaste into baking soda for an extra boost.

2. Freshen your mouth
Put one teaspoon in half a glass of water, swish, spit, and rinse. Odors are neutralized, not just covered up.

3. Soak oral appliance
Soak oral appliances (like retainers, mouthpieces, and dentures) in a solution of 2 teaspoons baking soda dissolved in a glass or small bowl of warm water. The baking soda loosens food particles and neutralizes odors to keep appliances fresh. You can also brush appliances clean using baking soda.

4. Use as a facial scrub and body exfoliant
Give yourself an invigorating facial and body scrub. Make a paste of 3 parts baking soda to 1 part water. Rub in a gentle circular motion to exfoliate the skin. Rinse clean. This is gentle enough for daily use.

5. Skip harsh deodorant
Pat baking soda onto your underarms to neutralize body odor.

6. Use as an antacid
Baking soda is a safe and effective antacid to relieve heartburn, sour stomach, and/or acid indigestion. Refer to baking soda package for instructions.

7. Treat insect bites and itchy skin
For insect bites, make a paste out of baking soda and water, and apply as a salve onto affected skin. To ease the itch, shake some baking soda into your hand and rub it into damp skin after bath or shower.

8. Make a hand cleanser and softener
Skip harsh soaps and gently scrub away ground-in dirt and neutralize odors on hands with a paste of 3 parts baking soda to 1 part water or 3 parts baking soda with gentle liquid hand soap. Then rinse clean.

9. Help your hair
Vinegar is amazing for your hair, but baking soda has its place in the shower too. Sprinkle a small amount of baking soda into your palm along with your favorite shampoo. Shampoo as usual and rinse thoroughly — baking soda helps remove the residue that styling products leave behind so your hair is cleaner and more manageable.

10. Clean brushes and combs
For lustrous hair with more shine, keep brushes and combs clean. Remove natural oil build-up and hair product residue by soaking combs and brushes in a solution of 1 teaspoon of baking soda in a small basin of warm water. Rinse and allow to dry.

11. Make a bath soak
Add 1/2 cup of baking soda to your bath to neutralize acids on the skin and help wash away oil and perspiration. It also makes your skin feel very soft. Or just focus on soothing your feet. Dissolve 3 tablespoons of baking soda in a tub of warm water and soak feet. Gently scrub.



Cleaning

12. Make a surface soft scrub
For safe, effective cleaning of bathroom tubs, tile, and sinks — even fiberglass and glossy tiles — sprinkle baking soda lightly on a clean damp sponge and scrub as usual. Rinse thoroughly and wipe dry. For extra cleaning power, make a paste with baking soda, coarse salt, and liquid dish soap — let it sit then scour off.

13. Hand-wash dishes and pots and pans
Add 2 heaping tablespoons baking soda (along with your regular dish detergent) to the dish water to help cut grease and foods left on dishes, pots, and pans. For cooked-on foods, let them soak in the baking soda and detergent with water first, then use dry baking soda on a clean damp sponge or cloth as a scratch-less scouring powder.

14. Freshen sponges
Soak stale-smelling sponges in a strong baking soda solution to get rid of the mess (4 tablespoons of baking soda dissolved in 1 quart of warm water). For more thorough disinfecting, use the microwave.

15. Clean the microwave
Baking soda on a clean damp sponge cleans gently inside and outside the microwave and never leaves a harsh chemical smell. Rinse well with water.

16. Polish silver flatware
Use a baking soda paste made with 3 parts baking soda to 1 part water. Rub onto the silver with a clean cloth or sponge. Rinse thoroughly and dry for shining sterling and silver-plate serving pieces.

17. Clean coffee and tea pots
Remove coffee and tea stains and eliminate bitter off-tastes by washing mugs and coffee makers in a solution of 1/4 cup baking soda in 1 quart of warm water. For stubborn stains, try soaking overnight in the baking soda solution and detergent or scrubbing with baking soda on a clean damp sponge.

18. Clean the oven
Sprinkle baking soda onto the bottom of the oven. Spray with water to dampen the baking soda. Let sit overnight. In the morning, scrub, scoop the baking soda and grime out with a sponge, or vacuum, and rinse.

19. Clean floors
Remove dirt and grime (without unwanted scratch marks) from no-wax and tile floors using 1/2 cup baking soda in a bucket of warm water — mop and rinse clean for a sparkling floor. For scuff marks, use baking soda on a clean damp sponge, then rinse.

20. Clean furniture
Clean and remove marks (even crayon) from walls and painted furniture by applying baking soda to a damp sponge and rubbing lightly. Wipe off with a clean, dry cloth.

21. Clean shower curtains
Clean and deodorize your vinyl shower curtain by sprinkling baking soda directly on a clean damp sponge or brush. Scrub the shower curtain and rinse clean. Hang it up to dry.

22. Boost your liquid laundry detergent
Give your laundry a boost by adding 1/2 cup of baking soda to your laundry to make liquid detergent work harder. A better balance of pH in the wash gets clothes cleaner, fresher, and brighter. Or you can add 1/2 cup of baking soda to the rinse cycle for fresher sheets and towels or to neutralize gym clothes and odoriferous clothing.

23. Clean and freshen sports gear
Use a baking soda solution (4 tablespoons baking soda in 1 quart warm water) to clean and deodorize smelly sports equipment. Sprinkle baking soda into golf bags and gym bags to deodorize and clean golf irons (without scratching them!) with a baking soda paste (3 parts baking soda to 1 part water) and a brush. Rinse thoroughly.

24. Remove oil and grease stains
Use baking soda to clean up light-duty oil and grease spills on your garage floor or in your driveway. Sprinkle baking soda on the spot and scrub with a wet brush.

25. Clean batteries
Baking soda can be used to neutralize battery acid corrosion on cars, mowers, etc., because its a mild alkali. Be sure to disconnect the battery terminals before cleaning. Make a paste of 3 parts baking soda to 1 part water and apply with a damp cloth to scrub corrosion from the battery terminal. After cleaning and reconnecting the terminals, wipe them with petroleum jelly to prevent future corrosion. Please be careful when working around a battery — they contain a strong acid.

26. Clean cars
Use baking soda to clean your car lights, chrome, windows, tires, vinyl seats, and floor mats without worrying about unwanted scratch marks. Use a baking soda solution of 1/4 cup baking soda in 1 quart of warm water. Apply with a sponge or soft cloth to remove road grime, tree sap, bugs, and tar. For stubborn stains use baking soda sprinkled on a damp sponge or soft brush. Eliminate odors by sprinkling baking soda directly on fabric car seats and carpets. Wait 15 minutes (or longer for strong odors) and vacuum up the baking soda.



Deodorizing

27. Deodorize your refrigerator
Place an open box in the back of the fridge to neutralize odors.

28. Deodorize trashcans and recyclables
Sprinkle baking soda on the bottom of your trashcan to keep stinky trash smells at bay. Clean your recyclables container periodically by sprinkling baking soda on a damp sponge. Wipe clean and rinse. Also, sprinkle baking soda on top as you add recyclables to the bin.

29. Deodorize drains and garbage disposals
To deodorize your sink and tub drains and garbage disposal and keep lingering odors from resurfacing, pour 1/2 cup of baking soda down the drain while running warm tap water — it will neutralize both acid and basic odors for a fresh drain. (This a good way to dispose of baking soda that is being retired from your refrigerator.)

30. Deodorize and clean dishwashers
Use baking soda to deodorize before you run the dishwasher and then as a gentle cleanser in the wash cycle.

31. Deodorize lunch boxes
Between uses, place a spill-proof box of baking soda in everyone’s lunch box to absorb lingering odors.

32. Remove odor from carpets
Liberally sprinkle baking soda on the carpet. Let set overnight or as long as possible (the longer it sets the better it works). Sweep up the larger amounts of baking soda, and vacuum up the rest. (Note that your vacuum cleaner bag will get full and heavy.) An added bonus: You'll also deodorize your vacuum cleaner.

33. Freshen closets
Place a box on the shelf to keep the closet smelling fresh.

34. Deodorize pet items
Cover the bottom of your cat box with baking soda, then fill as usual with litter. To freshen between changes, sprinkle baking soda on top of the litter after a thorough cleaning. Eliminate odors from your pet's bedding by sprinkling liberally with baking soda, wait 15 minutes (or longer for stronger odors), then vacuum up.

35. Deodorize sneakers
Keep odors from spreading in smelly sneakers by shaking baking soda into them when not in use. Shake out before wearing.

36. Freshen stuffed animals
Keep favorite cuddly toys fresh with a dry shower of baking soda. Sprinkle baking soda on and let it sit for 15 minutes before brushing off.



Miscellaneous
37. Cure all camping needs
Baking soda is a must-have for your next camping trip. It's a dish-washer, pot-scrubber, hand-cleanser, deodorant, toothpaste, and fire extinguisher, and has many other uses.

38. Extinguish fires
Baking soda can help in the initial handling of minor grease or electrical kitchen fires, because when baking soda is heated, it gives off carbon dioxide, which helps to smother the flames. For small cooking fires (frying pans, broilers, ovens, grills), turn off the gas or electricity if you can safely do so. Stand back and throw handfuls of baking soda at the base of the flame to help put out the fire — and call the fire department just to be safe.

39. Care for the septic system
Regular use of baking soda in your drains can help keep your septic system flowing freely. One cup of baking soda per week will help maintain a favorable pH in your septic tank.

40. Scrub fruits and vegetables
Baking soda is the food safe way to clean dirt and residue off fresh fruit and vegetables. Just sprinkle a little on a clean damp sponge, scrub and rinse.

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on June 18, 2010 at 6:44pm

Beauty Foods For Younger-Looking Skin

When I was in high school and college, I got a summer job as a lifeguard. All those hours in the sun gave me what I thought then was a beautiful, bronzy tan.

Today I realize the sun exposure just accelerated my skin’s aging process. Truth be told, I did wear sunscreen, but not always as much as a dermatologist would recommend.

Turns out, the vast majority of UV light that I was soaking up was UVA. UVA is a major contributor to premature skin aging (think: fine lines and wrinkles) because it penetrates deeper than UVB light and damages skin cells before there’s any visible sunburn.

Even worse, collagen—the fibrous protein that keeps skin firm, youthful-looking and wrinkle-free—begins to decline starting in your twenties!

Now that I’m older and wiser—and not anxious to look the part—I’m wearing more sunscreen to protect my skin from the outside in. And because I’m a registered dietitian and nutrition editor, I’ve seen the science that shows eating more of these foods will protect my skin from the inside out.

Keep your skin looking younger—for the rest of your life—with these 4 foods:

Strawberries: Eating more vitamin C-rich foods, such as strawberries, may help to ward off wrinkles and age-related dryness, suggests research from 2007 in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Vitamin C’s skin-smoothing effects may be due to its ability to mop up free radicals produced from ultraviolet rays and also its role in collagen synthesis. (Vitamin C is essential for collagen production.) You can find vitamin C in a multitude of cosmetics—of which some have been shown to be effective in protecting skin—but why not go straight to the source for a tasty boost of C: red bell peppers, papaya, broccoli and oranges are other excellent sources.

Tomatoes: Tomatoes get their red hue from lycopene, a carotenoid that may help to keep your skin smooth. In a study published in 2008 in the European Journal of Pharmaceutics and Biopharmaceutics, researchers found that of the 20 individuals studied, those who had higher skin concentrations of lycopene had smoother skin. Boost your lycopene intake with fresh summer produce like watermelon and carrots too.

Tofu: Tofu and other soyfoods, such as edamame and soymilk, may help to preserve skin-firming collagen because they are rich in isoflavones. In a study published in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition, mice fed isoflavones and exposed to ultraviolet radiation had fewer wrinkles and smoother skin than mice that were exposed to UV light but didn’t get isoflavones. The researchers believe that isoflavones help prevent collagen breakdown.

Tuna: Eating tuna—and other omega-3-rich fish, such as salmon, sardines and trout—may help keep your skin looking youthful thanks to the omega-3 fat EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid). EPA has been shown to preserve collagen.

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on July 17, 2010 at 9:42pm

SIX ESSENTIALS TO LOOK FOR IN FINDING A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND OR SOUL MATE



Diane went on so many one-daters that she started calling herself “One-Date D.” She just never seemed to end up with the guys who had what she was looking for in a relationship.


Ken wanted to find that special lady whom he was not only attracted to but also “had it going on” in the important areas. For some reason, his dates turned out to be too needy or just didn’t match what he wanted.


WOULD YOU DATE YOURSELF?
Many of us, like Diane and Ken, get frustrated with dead-end dates and never finding the soul mate we want. We fuss and fret and often get so caught up in our loneliness that we forget one of the real secrets to successful dating: Before you can find a soul mate, you have to be your own soul mate.


WOULD YOU DATE YOURSELF? Now that’s a startling question for singles like us to ask ourselves, isn’t it? It’s a question that, hopefully, will stop us dead in our dating tracks and make us take a close look in the mirror.


For years,” says Linda, one of my single friends, “I thought the person I was dating must have a problem or maybe I just wasn’t in the right place at the right time. Finally, my light bulb went on: I realized that I really needed to work on myself first. I had to deal with my inner baggage.”


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WHAT DO YOU WANT IN A SOUL MATE?
To date successfully and manage your relationships effectively, you must have a clear vision of yourself and others. One popular method to define that vision is to create a list of the qualities you want in a soul mate — a list that gives you a perfect guideline to use for your own self-inventory.


1. VALUES.
You want someone you can believe in, someone you can trust. Can you count on him to do what he says? Can you trust her to do what’s right and always be there? What about you? These shared values form the basis of a lasting relationship.


2. EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND MATURITY.
To have a lasting relationship, it’s important for both people to be emotionally healthy and mature. Does he have a positive attitude? Does she like herself? What about you? When you and your mate are at peace with yourselves, you won’t need others to make you happy.


3. FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY.
No, money can’t buy love, but you’d be amazed how much trouble financial irresponsibility can cause. Does his career provide a lifestyle you’re comfortable with? Does she handle her money wisely? What about you? Think about this one carefully.


4. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND FITNESS.
We all want someone to whom we’re physically attracted, and we want someone to be physically attracted in return. Does she take time to care for her appearance? Does he eat and exercise to stay fit? What about you? Remember that first impressions count!


5. COMMUNICATION SKILLS.
Lasting partnerships depend on open communication that allows both people to share their thoughts, concerns and dreams. Is she assertive in communicating her thoughts? Does he shrink from confrontation? What about you? You want someone who’s willing to develop good listening and communication skills.


6. CONFIDENCE.
Confident people radiate a glow that inevitably attracts us. Does he have strong self-esteem? Has she taken responsibility for her own life? Even the most tender of partners should bring strength to a relationship.


One of the quickest and surest ways to find your match is to become your own best friend and soul mate. Mirror, mirror on the wall… When the image clears, shouldn’t the reflection be yours?



Dee Anne Merriman is a freelance writer and contributor to Happen magazine.

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on July 25, 2010 at 7:04pm

7 Secrets to a Happy Retirement

by Sydney Lagier
Thursday, July 22, 2010


Some folks transition seamlessly into a happy retirement and get right to the business of enjoying their new lives. But other people have a tougher time entering the retirement years. Some of these folks may wonder whether they are really cut out for retirement at all. Here are seven traits happy retirees share.


Good health. Enjoying good health is the single most important factor impacting retiree happiness, according to a 2009 Watson Wyatt analysis. Retirees in poor health are nearly 50 percent less likely to report being happy, trumping all other factors including money and age.


A significant other. The same study found that married or cohabiting couples are more likely than singles to be happy in retirement. The news gets even better for couples enjoying retirement together. Retirees whose partners are also retired report being happier than those with a working partner, according to research conducted earlier this year at the University of Greenwich.


A social network. The Greenwich study also found that having friends was far more important to retirement bliss than having kids. Those who have strong social networks are 30 percent happier with their lives than those without a strong network of friends. Having kids or grandkids had no impact on a retiree's level of contentment.


They are not addicted to television. After you retire you will have lots of time to fill. If you want to be happy in retirement, don't fill that time with endless hours of television. Heavy TV viewers report lower satisfaction with their lives, according to a 2005 study published by the Institute for Empirical Research in Economics in Zurich. The same results were found again in 2008 by researchers at the University of Maryland. In that study, a direct negative correlation was found between the amount of TV watching and happiness levels: unhappy people watched more TV and happy people watched less.


Intellectual curiosity. Adults over 70 who choose brain-stimulating hobbies over TV watching are two and a half times less likely to suffer the effects of Alzheimer's disease, according to Richard Stim and Ralph Warner's book Retire Happy: What You Can Do Now to Guarantee a Great Retirement. Not only will shunning TV make you happier, it will make you healthier. Good health will in turn make you happier -- a not-so-vicious cycle.


They aren't addicted to achievement. The more you are defined by your job, the harder it will be to adjust to life without it. According to Robert Delamontagne's book The Retiring Mind: How to Make the Psychological Transition to Retirement, achievement addicts have the most difficulty transitioning to retirement.


Enough money. Of course you'll need enough money to support your chosen lifestyle in retirement. But beyond that, more money will not make you happier. The Watson Wyatt survey found that the absolute amount of money you have for retirement is less important than how your retirement income compares to your income before retirement. If you have enough to continue your pre-retirement lifestyle, you have enough.


If you don't have the traits necessary for a happy retirement, don't despair. There's good news for you, too. Consider a retirement that includes a little work. Researchers at the University of Maryland found that retirees who go back to work either full or part-time are healthier. The benefits don't depend on how many hours you work. Even temporary work has the same positive impact on health. If you can't find a paying job, don't worry. A growing body of research shows that retirees who volunteer reap the same benefits of health, happiness, and longevity. And since a happy retirement is a healthy retirement, you'll be set up to enjoy both.

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Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on August 16, 2010 at 7:21pm

46 Smart Uses For "Salt"

How many ways can you use salt? According to the Salt Institute, about 14,000! The salt website has tons of handy tips for using salt around the house, and the best of the bunch -- plus my additions -- are listed below.


I can't think of another more versatile mineral. Salt is the most common and readily available nonmetallic mineral in the world. In fact, the supply of salt is inexhaustible.

For thousands of years, salt (sodium chloride) has been used to preserve food and for cleaning, and people have continued to rely on it for all kinds of nifty tricks.


So with its nontoxic friendliness and status as an endlessly abundant resource, let's swap out some toxic solutions for ample, innocuous, and inexpensive salt.


There are a number of forms of salt produced for consumption (and by default, housekeeping!): unrefined salt (such as sea salt), refined salt (table salt), and iodized salt. Kosher salt is sodium chloride processed to have flat crystals. And in case you're wondering, Epsom salt is an entirely different stuff: magnesium sulfate to be exact (which is a salt that I consider to be, essentially, miraculous).


Here are just a few of the many ways you can put salt to good use in your home:



-In the Kitchen
Aside from all of the alchemy that salt performs in terms of baking chemistry and food flavor, salt has a number of other great applications in the kitchen.


-Test egg freshness.
Put two teaspoons of salt in a cup of water and place an egg in it -- a fresh egg will sink, an older egg will float. Because the air cell in an egg increases as it ages, an older egg is more buoyant. This doesn't mean a floating egg is rotten, just more mature. Crack the egg into a bowl and examine it for any funky odor or appearance -- if it's rotten, your nose will tell you. (Bonus fact: if you have hard-boiled eggs that are difficult to peel, that means they are fresh!)


-Set poached eggs.
Because salt increases the temperature of boiling water, it helps to set the whites more quickly when eggs are dropped into the water for poaching.


-Prevent fruits from browning.
Most of us use lemon or vinegar to stop peeled apples and pears from browning, but you can also drop them in lightly salted water to help them keep their color.


-Shell nuts more easily.
Soak pecans and walnuts in salt water for several hours before shelling to make it easier to remove the meat.


-Prevent cake icing crystals.
A little salt added to cake icings prevents them from sugaring.


-Remove odors from hands.
Oniony-garlicy fingers? I like soap and water, then rubbing them on anything made of stainless steel (it really works), but you can also rub your fingers with a salt and vinegar combo.


-Reach high peaks.
Add a tiny pinch of salt when beating egg whites or whipping cream for quicker, higher peaks.


-Extend cheese life.
Prevent mold on cheese by wrapping it in a cloth moistened with saltwater before refrigerating.


-Save the bottom of your oven.
If a pie or casserole bubbles over in the oven, put a handful of salt on top of the spill. It won't smoke and smell, and it will bake into a crust that makes the baked-on mess much easier to clean when it has cooled.

mosquitobite


Personal Care
-Extend toothbrush life.
Soak toothbrushes in salt water before your first use; they'll last longer.


-Clean teeth.
Use one part fine salt to two parts baking soda -- dip your toothbrush in the mix and brush as usual. You can also use the same mix dissolved in water for orthodontic appliances.


Rinse your mouth.
Mix equal parts salt and baking soda in water for a fresh and deodorizing mouth rinse

-Ease mouth problems.
For cankers, abscesses, and other mouth sores, rinse your mouth with a weak solution of warm saltwater several times a day.


-Relieve bee-sting pain.
Ouch? Immediately dampen area and pack on a small pile of salt to reduce pain and swelling. More bee-sting tips here.


-Treat mosquito bites.
A saltwater soak can do wonders for that special mosquito-bite itch -- a poultice of salt mixed with olive oil can help too.


-Treat poison ivy.
Same method as for treating mosquito bites. (Salt doesn't seem to distinguish between itches.)

-Have an exfoliating massage.
After bathing and while still wet give yourself a massage with dry salt. It freshens skin and boosts circulation.


-Ease throat pain.
Mix salt and warm water, gargle to relieve a sore throat.



Around the House
-Deter ants.
Sprinkle salt at doorways, window sills, and anywhere else ants sneak into your house. Ants don't like to walk on salt.


-Extinguish grease fires.
Keep a box of salt near your stove and oven, and if a grease fire flares up, douse the flames with salt. (Never use water on grease fires; it will splatter the burning grease.) When salt is applied to fire, it acts like a heat sink and dissipates the heat from the fire -- it also forms an oxygen-excluding crust to smother the fire.


-Drip-proof candles.
If you soak new candles in a strong salt solution for a few hours, then dry them well, they will not drip as much when you burn them.


-Keep cut flowers fresh.
A dash of salt added to the water in a flower vase will keep cut flowers fresh longer. (You can also try an aspirin or a dash of sugar for the same effect.)


-Arrange artificial flowers.
Artificial flowers can be held in place by pouring salt into the vase, adding a little cold water and then arranging the flowers. The salt become solid as it dries and holds the flowers in place.


-Make play dough.
Use 1 cup flour, 1/2 cup salt, 1 cup water, 2 tablespoons oil, and 2 tablespoons cream of tartar. Stir together flour, cream of tartar, salt, and oil, and slowly add water. Cook over medium heat stirring frequently until dough becomes stiff. Spread onto wax paper and let cool. Knead the dough with your hands until it reaches a good dough consistency. (Read about juice dyes here.)


-Repair walls.
To fill nail holes, fix chips or other small dings in white sheet-rock or plaster walls, mix 2 tablespoons salt and 2 tablespoons cornstarch, then add enough water (about 5 teaspoons) to make a thick paste. Use the paste to fill the holes.


-Deter patio weeds.
If weeds or grass grow between bricks or blocks in your patio, sidewalk, or driveway, carefully spread salt between the cracks, then sprinkle with water or wait for rain to wet it down.


-Kill poison ivy.
Mix three pounds of salt with a gallon of soapy water (use a gentle dish soap) and apply to leaves and stems with a sprayer, avoiding any plant life that you want to keep.


-De-ice sidewalks and driveways.
One of the oldest tricks in the book! Lightly sprinkle rock salt on walks and driveways to keep snow and ice from bonding to the pavement and allow for easier shoveling/scraping. But don't overdo it; use the salt sensibly to avoid damage to plants and paws.


-Tame a wild barbecue.
Toss a bit of salt on flames from food dripping in barbecue grills to reduce the flames and calm the smoke without cooling the coals (like water does).



Cleaning
-Salt works as an effective yet gentle scouring agent. Salt also serves as a catalyst for other ingredients, such as vinegar, to boost cleaning and deodorizing action. For a basic soft scrub, make a paste with lots of salt, baking soda and dish soap and use on appliances, enamel, porcelain, etc.


-Clean sink drains.
Pour salt mixed with hot water down the kitchen sink regularly to deodorize and keep grease from building up.


-Remove water rings.
Gently rub a thin paste of salt and vegetable oil on the white marks caused by beverage glasses and hot dishes on wooden tables.


-Clean greasy pans.
Cast-iron skillets can be cleaned with a good sprinkling of salt and paper towels.

-Clean stained cups.
Mix salt with a dab of dish soap to make a soft scrub for stubborn coffee and tea stains.


-Clean refrigerators.
A mix of salt and soda water can be used to wipe out and deodorize the inside of your refrigerator, a nice way to keep chemical-y cleaners away from your food.


-Clean brass or copper.
Mix equal parts of salt, flour, and vinegar to make a paste, and rub the paste on the metal. After letting it sit for an hour, clean with a soft cloth or brush and buff with a dry cloth.


-Clean rust.
Mix salt and cream of tartar with just enough water to make a paste. Rub on rust, let dry, brush off and buff with a dry, soft cloth. You can also use the same method with a mix of salt and lemon.


-Clean a glass coffee pot.
Every diner waitress' favorite tip: add salt and ice cubes to a coffee pot, swirl around vigorously, and rinse. The salt scours the bottom, and the ice helps to agitate it more for a better scrub.





-winestain

Laundry
Attack wine spills.
If a tipsy guest tips wine on your cotton or linen tablecloth, blot up as much as possible and immediately cover the wine with a pile of salt, which will help pull the remaining wine away form the fiber. After dinner, soak the tablecloth in cold water for 30 minutes before laundering. (Also works on clothing.)

Quell oversudsing.
Since, of course, we are all very careful in how much detergent we use in our laundry, we never have too many suds. But if someone overfills ... you can eliminate excess suds with a sprinkle of salt.


-Dry clothes in the winter.
Use salt in the final laundry rinse to prevent clothes from freezing if you use an outdoor clothes line in the winter.


-Brighten colors.
Wash colored curtains or washable fiber rugs in a saltwater solution to brighten the colors. Brighten faded rugs and carpets by rubbing them briskly with a cloth that has been dipped in a strong saltwater solution and wrung out.


-Remove perspiration stains.
Add four tablespoons of salt to one quart of hot water and sponge the fabric with the solution until stains fade.


-Remove blood stains.
Soak the stained cloth in cold saltwater, then launder in warm, soapy water and boil after the wash. (Use only on cotton, linen, or other natural fibers that can take high heat.)


-Tackle mildew or rust stains.
Moisten stained spots with a mixture of lemon juice and salt, then spread the item in the sun for bleaching -- then rinse and dry.

-Clean a gunky iron bottom.
Sprinkle a little salt on a piece of paper and run the hot iron over it to remove rough, sticky spots.


-Set color.
Salt is used commonly in the textile industry, but works at home too. If a dye isn't colorfast, soak the garment for an hour in 1/2 gallon of water to which you've added 1/2 cup vinegar and 1/2 cup salt, then rinse. If rinse water has any color in it, repeat. Use only on single-colored fabric or madras. If the item is multicolored, dry-clean it to avoid running all of the colors together.

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on October 3, 2010 at 1:02am

Healthy Living: Effective Communication Techniques for Relationships
Two people in a relationship are supposed to work together as a team to meet life's challenges. Without effective communication, however, the partners are left to make guesses and assumptions about what the other wants.

Listen
1.Listen to what your partner says to you without twisting it around in your head. Repeating what your partner is saying to ensure that you are hearing it right and not misinterpreting what is being said is a great way to learn to better understand your partner. Also, listen to underlying meanings. Try to get past the surface of what your partner is saying and get to the root of any problems you may be having. But don't assume that you know what the underlying meaning is. Always ask questions to make sure that you are interpreting along the right lines what your partner is telling you.

Speak the Facts
2.State the facts of the issue that you are discussing with your partner. This will force you to get down to the real source of the problem without unnecessarily hurting each your partner's feelings. State your feelings regarding a certain topic and only your feelings. Don't project thoughts and opinions onto your partner. You can tell your partner that a certain action he or she engaged in made you feel mad, but you can't tell your partner that he or she is doing something to make you mad. Your partner may not realize how his or her actions make you feel and conversing in this manner will make your partner more aware.

Appreciation
3.Appreciate your partner and your relationship five times more than you complain about them. Don't let your anger over a certain issue overshadow all the good in your relationship. Try to focus on the good so that you have motivation to effectively deal with the bad. You should also express your complaints as requests. Instead of complaining that your partner never helps you clean the house, offer to do one task in exchange for your partner doing another. For example, offer to do the vacuuming if your partner will do the dusting.

Self-Examination
4.Ask yourself how you can better communicate and be a better partner in the relationship. It is too easy to focus on what your partner is doing wrong and how angry that makes you. It is harder to look at what you might be doing that frustrates your partner. Both partners can't be looking at what the other is doing wrong without looking at what they are doing wrong. Otherwise, nothing will get solved.

Ask
5.Don't talk in code in your relationship or expect your partner to be a mind reader. Ask your partner for the things you want before you just assume that you can't have them or that your partner is purposely withholding from you the things that you want.

Golden Rule
6.Treat your partner as you would like to be treated. You can't expect your partner to put in more effort than you are willing to put in, so do things for your partner that you would like your partner to do for you. For example, show an interest in your partner's hobbies if you would like your partner to take an interest in yours.

Compromise
7.Meet your partner halfway when you disagree, After all, if you disagree on how something should be handled then neither partner can have it their way and keep the other person happy. And while you are trying to reach a compromise, both of you should ask yourself if you really need to have it your way. It is easy to become selfish and just want, want, want. Re-examining what you want and whether or not you really need those wants will help you to better choose your battles.


Read more: Best Way - Effective Communication Techniques for Relationships | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/way_5408612_effective-communication-techniques-...

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on October 3, 2010 at 1:06am

Healthy Living: Family Communication Problems
Communication is very important to any relationship. It is how we work out problems, learn about each other and strengthen our relationship bond. In a family, communication is a must. If you are going to resolve conflicts or solve problems, you have to communicate with each other. But when it comes to fostering and nurturing relationships, it is often the family relationship that is left wanting. So many times we take it for granted that our family will always be there. But as with any relationship, that with out family takes work.

Everyone Gets a Turn
1.In any discussion, it is important that each person gets a turn to speak. Many times, though, group attempts to discuss an important topic wind up with everyone trying to talk over each other. No one hears what the others are saying and nothing is accomplished. To ensure that everyone gets a turn, use a timer and give each person equal time to say whatever she feels, to talk about any ideas she may have and to ask any questions. The catch is that while that person is talking, no one can interrupt her. Family members can take notes if they like so that they can address things that are said when it is their turn to talk, but interruptions are not allowed.

Stay Focused
2.Relationships can get emotional and erupt into hurtful exchanges that solve nothing. It is important that when you sit down for discussion, you stay focused on the topic at hand. Don't drag up issues that happened months ago or that have no relevance to the issue at hand. This type of dirty fighting leads nowhere helpful. If everyone stays focused on the problem and works toward a solution, things will go a lot smoother. Don't use communication as an emotional data dump. Instead, encourage sharing, exchanging ideas and finding solutions together.

Don't Take it Personally
3.When you sit down as a family, communication should be about the issue. If someone shoots down your idea or says things that get under your skin, don't take it personally. If you do, you'll get defensive--and that is not productive. Don't take things to heart or internalize them, and don't argue. If you disagree with a family member, wait until it is your turn to talk and calmly explain your position. Try not to be defensive and don't try to put others on the defensive.

Avoid the Gripe Session
4.The family relationship can be a tenuous one. Often you live together and spend a great deal of time together. When it comes to family, communication often leaves a lot to be desired. Keep your family communication healthy--don't turn it into a gripe session. If you have valid complaints, you can voice them, but if you are going to nag, whine and complain, you will get nowhere and simply waste your efforts.

Listen
5.The most important element of effective communication is listening. Stop, close your mouth and open your ears. Sometimes people just need to vent and they need someone to be quiet and listen to them. If you stop and listen to your family members, you might surprised at what you hear. Listening is one of the most loving forms of communication that you can enter into. When you stop and listen to someone, you are sending him the message that you care about him and about what he is saying.

Don't Assume
6.Don't assume that the people in your family know how you feel about them. Words are very powerful when spoken. However, the words that you don't say can be just as powerful. If you are a parent, when was the last time you told your child that you love her? Or that you accept her or that you are proud of her? Say what you feel to your family members. Communication is not about assuming that they already know, it is about letting them know.


Read more: Family Communication Problems | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5403333_family-communication-problems.htm...

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on October 23, 2010 at 1:15am

Finance Article By Steve Thompson on: WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BORROW MONEY!!!!!




First Person Steve Thompson: Why I Never Borrow Money
by Steve Thompson
Friday, October 22, 2010


*Note: This was written by an Associated Content contributor, Steve Thompson.




Like many 20-somethings, I made a lot of financial mistakes before I finally grew up. Nearly every dollar I spent through eight years of college and law school was borrowed before I actually earned the money to pay for it. Between student loans and credit cards, I graduated with significant debt. And the crushing weight of that debt is why I never borrow money now.



Debt Leads to Depression

This is not a scientific fact that I've verified, but rather a conclusion I drew after crawling out of debt for more than 10 years. Every time a bill arrived in the mail or someone called to ask why a payment was late, I grew more withdrawn and disheartened. I felt like a tire with a slow leak, and I often wondered if it would ever end. To borrow money is to impose upon yourself an unnecessary burden -- both financially and emotionally.



Debt Becomes a Habit

Safe within the comfortable bubble of college, the real world never intruded to remind me that borrowing money would one day lead to consequences. It was painfully easy to pull out my credit card to make a purchase or to apply for yet another student loan. The money I earned went directly to pay for the debt I had incurred, though it was never sufficient to cover all of it. It became a habit for me to use my income to pay off debt rather than to fund the necessities of life.



Debt Provides False Security

Because I knew that I had a credit card to pay for the things I wanted, there was no reason for me to stay in my dorm or apartment rather than go out with friends or to put off a purchase until I had saved the money to buy it. During those years in school, I never felt financially strapped. Then, upon graduation, the money I'd borrowed became an albatross I thought I'd never shake.



Debt Creates Stress

This seems like a given, especially if you've ever accumulated a massive amount of debt, but when you borrow money, stress is a constant companion. For years, I lived in fear of losing my home and everything else. I worried about whether I'd be able to cover utilities after paying on my debts, and I was always looking for ways to make a few extra dollars. It's no way to live.



Saving Is Rewarding

Now, when I want to buy something expensive, I save my money. My wife and I have a separate savings account that is devoted to vacations, electronics, conferences, and anything else we want to do. We don't borrow money to obtain the things we desire; we save for them until we can afford them. And it's far more satisfying than if we just plunked down our credit cards.



Saving Makes You Think

When I was borrowing money hand over fist, my purchases were never carefully considered. I took the caveman approach to spending money: Want, Find, Buy. Now that I never borrow money, every purchase gets run through my mind many times during a period of weeks or months. Often I decide it isn't worth the effort, and my money goes toward more worthy purchases.



There Are Exceptions

What if my child needed an expensive medical procedure for which I didn't have the cash? I'd borrow money. What if my car broke down and I didn't have the money to fix it? I'd probably borrow money.



There are exceptions to every rule. But my goal is to continue saving money until I've stowed enough cash in the bank to wipe out all those exceptions. In my opinion, there is no greater security on earth than the knowledge that I don't have to borrow money, ever, to take care of my family.

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on December 8, 2010 at 3:25pm

Condom Use Should Be Mandatory: HIV-Positive Porn Performer Speaks Out

Los Angeles Times, December 8, 2010

HIV-positive porn performer speaks out
Derrick Burts, 24, who tested positive for HIV in October after working in gay and straight porn films, says he now favors enforcing mandatory condom use in porn productions.

The adult film performer who tested HIV-positive at a San Fernando Valley clinic this fall spoke out for the first time Tuesday, calling for mandatory condom use in porn productions, improved testing for sexually transmitted disease and follow-up care for fellow performers.

Derrick Burts, 24, said he tested HIV-positive in October at the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation in Sherman Oaks after working in both gay and straight porn films for a few months. He had previously been identified only as Patient Zeta.

Producers of straight porn regularly check performers' test results using a database maintained by the clinic, known as AIM, to clear actors for work.

Burts, who performed in straight films as "Cameron Reid" and gay films as "Derek Chambers," said he was tested at the clinic Oct. 8, then received a panicked call from clinic staff the following afternoon, summoning him to the office.

When he got there, he said, clinic staff told him that he had tested HIV-positive. They wanted to perform a follow-up test and begin notifying performers he had worked with since his last negative test result Sept. 3. Those performers, he was told, would be placed on a quarantine list while they, too, were tested.

Burts said he gave clinic staff the names of about a dozen performers he had worked with in California and Florida in both gay and straight productions. The list included his girlfriend, who also works in the industry as a performer. He watched as clinic staff began scanning a performer database, notifying those he had named and placing them on a quarantine list.

The clinic has since said that none of the performers on its quarantine list tested positive. Burts confirmed that his girlfriend tested negative.

He said that when he returned to the clinic Oct. 23 to review the second test results, clinic staff told him that they had traced his HIV infection to someone he had performed a scene with whom they described to him as a "known positive."

Although straight porn performers must show negative HIV test results before filming, the gay porn industry does not have the same restrictions, although condom use is typically required.

Burts said he asked who the performer was and clinic staff told him they could not reveal the performer's name or gender due to patient confidentiality.

Clinic officials could not immediately be reached for comment Tuesday night. An attorney for the clinic was traveling outside the United States, according to an e-mail received from him earlier in the day.

Burts says he may have contracted the disease during a gay porn shoot in Florida. He said the performers used condoms during intercourse but not during oral sex.

Contrary to Burts' account of what he was told, clinic officials released a statement last month saying "Patient Zeta acquired the virus through private, personal activity."

"That's completely false," Burts said Tuesday. "There is no possible way. The only person I had sex with in my personal life was my girlfriend."

Before he left the clinic Oct. 23, Burts said clinic staff put him in touch with a doctor affiliated with the clinic and promised to arrange for his follow-up care.

Burts said no one followed up, and he felt neglected.

"AIM promised they would help me set up a doctor and get treatment," he said. "They did none of that."

Burts said AIM staff had warned him not to contact the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, whose officials have been among the clinic's chief critics. In frustration, Burts said he went to an AIDS Healthcare Foundation center in Los Angeles on Nov. 24 and saw a doctor, never identifying himself as Patient Zeta.

Pleased with the care he received at the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, Burts contacted the group's leaders last week, identified himself as Patient Zeta and said he wanted to speak out on their behalf and in favor of enforcing mandatory condom use in porn productions. Foundation officials have scheduled a news conference with Burts for 10 a.m. Wednesday.

"AIM likes to state that testing is enough. That's completely false," he said, noting that in the months before he tested positive for HIV, he had also contracted chlamydia, gonorrhea and herpes.

"It's very dangerous," he said of adult film work. "It should be required that you wear a condom on the set."

Burts, who grew up in Whittier and Hemet, graduated from Hemet High School and a hotel management school in Florida and worked as a hotel manager and cruise ship magician before becoming a porn performer for the money. He said he earned $200 to $800 for filming a straight scene and $1,000 to $2,000 for a gay scene.

Looking back, he said he wishes he had known more about the risks of contracting sexually transmitted diseases in the industry.

"Making $10,000 or $15,000 for porn isn't worth your life," he said. "Performers need to be educated."
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Former Porn Star Darren James Speaks Out About Latest HIV Case

The former adult film actor at the center of a 2004 HIV outbreak among porn performers on Tuesday criticized the industry for failing to protect actors from infection.

“I knew it was going to happen. And how many years has it been? Again. They went right back to the same habits,” Darren James said in an interview with The Times.

James’ comments came after a San Fernando Valley clinic that caters to people who work in the porn industry confirmed to The Times that an adult-industry performer has tested positive for HIV, and that a quarantine was in place for performers who had sexual contact with the person.

Officials from the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation, known as AIM, would not disclose the number of performers who may have been exposed and also declined to provide details about the person infected or the production company or companies involved.

James, a well-liked porn star known for his courteous nature on set, was at the center of an HIV outbreak that shut down the San Fernando Valley’s multibillion-dollar porn industry for a month in the spring of 2004. He had tested HIV negative just days before performing on screen. After a later test came back positive, James learned that he had spread the virus to three actresses with whom he worked.

In recent months, James has become a advocate of mandatory use of condoms on porn sets to protect performers from HIV. At a hearing of California occupational safety officials in Orange County in March, James called the industry’s reliance on testing performers for HIV a "false security blanket."

"You think you're safe, but you're not. In between scenes, you don't know what other actors are doing," James told the board before turning to the crowd of about 40 at Costa Mesa City Hall. "I'm living your nightmare every day," he said.

On Tuesday , James renewed his criticism of the industry for failing to protect actors and actresses.

“The actors ... they’re not getting the protection that they need. There should have been mandatory condoms,” James said. “Good grief, it’s like my deal, all over again. I hate that.”

In an interview with The Times last year, when AIM officials confirmed that a female porn performer had tested positive for HIV, James talked extensively about his belief that condoms should be required on set.
"That's why I want to come out and do a little more, if I can. And if it's just to help ... just to get them to listen. Not to boast up porn, not at all, just to make people be aware that I got caught up, man. I thought I was invincible, and I got shot down so fast,” James said at the time.

Some porn actors and actresses, however, have protested state officials’ consideration of strengthening rules requiring condom use on sets. Despite state occupational safety rules requiring condom use on porn sets, that rule is widely flouted on heterosexual porn film shoots.

"There is no way to make the industry risk-free. Making things safer does not make it safe," a porn actor whose stage name is Jeremy Steele said at a June hearing in downtown Los Angeles. "If you're worried or paranoid, you should not be in this industry."

"As someone who is still working on the camera myself, I don't feel any safer with condoms," actress Nina Hartley said at the same hearing.

-- Rong-Gong Lin II

Permalink Reply by Phoebe Macon on December 10, 2010 at 2:27am

10 Things Your Landlord Won't Tell You

 

 

1) "This building is in foreclosure."

In late 2009, Melody Thompson called her landlords to ask about the well-dressed picture-takers outside her four-bedroom Portland rental home. "Oh, we're refinancing," she remembers them telling her. Then in late April, a formal bank notification arrived in the mail, stating that the home was in foreclosure and would be put up for sale in late August. "I was immediately angry," says Thompson, the executive director of Financial Beginnings, a financial literacy nonprofit. "They lied." The sale has been postponed twice as the landlords apply for a mortgage adjustment, but Thompson is still hunting for a new place.

Renters accounted for 40% of families facing eviction from foreclosure in 2009, according to the National Low Income Housing Coalition. And unfortunately, they often hear about it as Thompson did -- from the bank, just weeks before the sale, says Janet Portman, an attorney and the managing editor of legal book publisher Nolo. "The landlord wants the tenant in there, paying rent," she says. The lack of notice was so pervasive that last year Congress passed the Protecting Tenants at Foreclosure Act, which gives tenants at least 90 days from the foreclosure sale to move out. (Previously, they had as few as 30 days, Portman says.) Provided the new owner doesn't want to live there, the law also lets legitimate tenants -- those who signed a lease before the sale and pay a market value rent, among other qualifications -- stay through the end of their lease.

 

2) "You should complain more."

When a steady drip, drip, drip of water from the ceiling led a third-floor tenant to complain, Adam Jernow, a principal at property management firm OGI Management in New York City, assumed they were dealing with a leaky pipe. It wasn't until a week later, when the tenants on the top floor two flights above that apartment finally called, that he realized they were dealing with a big roof leak from heavy summer rains. Had upper-floor tenants complained sooner, Jernow says, they could have limited the damage, and that third-floor tenant might not have had a problem at all. So while renters often assume quirks like hot-then-not showers or moisture on the walls is just part of big-city living - or that complaining to the landlord will just open up a can of worms - keeping a property owner informed can actually help a problem get fixed faster. Besides, most states require landlords to keep the property in good repair, with home systems and appliances in working order.

 

3) "There's more to negotiate than the rent."

Rental markets in many cities around the country have improved this year, which means landlords have less incentive to cut you a break. Just 31% of landlords lowered rent in 2010, versus 69% in 2009, according to property marketplace Rent.com. All the major real estate investment groups are asking for higher rent on new leases, and about half are doing so on renewals, says Peggy Abkemeier, the president of Rent.com.

But the market hasn't improved so much that landlords don't have incentive to keep good tenants, she says. The survey found that 44% of landlords are willing to lower security deposits, and 22% will offer an upgrade to a fancier unit (think better views, quieter neighbors, newer kitchen) without raising rent. And there's still that 31% of landlords who will offer a price break. "It never hurts to ask," Abkemeier says. In markets where vacancy rates are still high, such as Atlanta, Las Vegas, Orlando and Phoenix, tenants have a better chance.

 

4) "Your neighbor is not my problem."

Loud music. Late-night parties. More foot traffic than a mall on Sunday mornings. Kevin Amolsch, the owner of real estate investment company Advantage Homes in Denver, Colo., has heard all of these complaints and more from the tenants in the buildings he manages. Trouble is, there's not much he can do. States' tenant rights laws make it tough for landlords to intervene when there isn't a clear violation of the lease. Even when a "right of quiet enjoyment" is in the lease, those noisy neighbors usually have time to mend their ways. "Two weeks later [when they are free and clear], it's going to start up all over again," Amolsch says. And so does the clock on their grace period to pipe down.

The best bet is to reach out to the other tenant and try to smooth things over directly, Amolsch says. If that doesn't work, report problems to the police as well as the landlord, so the situation is well-documented. That makes it easier to initiate eviction proceedings, he says.

 

5) "You may have more rights than I do."

Brianne Vorse, a longtime renter, knows the number to her local tenant rights group by heart. Vorse first sought help four years ago to force her landlord to fix windows that wouldn't shut all the way, letting in cold air and the San Francisco fog. She called again after a sub-letter offered a higher rent if the landlord would break Vorse's lease and let him take over. "I found that [the landlord] couldn't legally do this," says Vorse, who sent the landlord an official tenant petition she found on the web site of the San Francisco Rent Board. "In the end, I got the apartment and kept the original lease."

Tenant rights vary widely by state, says attorney Portman. Arkansas doesn't even require landlords to provide "fit and habitable housing," but that's extreme. In the most renter-friendly states, including California, New York, Illinois and New Jersey, renters without say, hot water, can withhold rent until it is fixed (or pay to fix it and deduct that from the rent). "If the landlord tried to evict you for that, you would win that lawsuit," she says. Landlords aren't necessarily any better informed about what they can and cannot do, so it's up to the tenant to figure it out. The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development maintains a database of tenants' rights by state, including groups that offer assistance with disputes.

 

6) “I don’t know about your problems – and I like it that way.”

Tenants who think they have a beef with the property owner may actually find their true discontent with the management company hired by the landlord. The Better Business Bureau logged 5,297 complaints about property managers last year, a 13% increase from 2008. They’re among the most-complained about industries, ranking 37th of the 3,024 the BBB tracks. “You would hope that the person who owns the property has done their due diligence, but that just may not be the case,” says Kimberly Smith, the co-founder of short-term furnished rental site CorporateHousingbyOwner.com. Inexperienced or incompetent property managers may not have a good system in place to handle repairs -- especially emergencies – or neglect to keep your security deposit in a safe place, she says.

While a landlord is ultimately responsible for providing habitable housing, they hire management companies precisely so they don’t have to deal with the day-to-day decision making and every tenant request. This is a case where the squeaky wheel definitely gets the grease (see No. 2, above). If there’s a pervasive issue, try to reach the landlord directly, Smith says. Public records will list the property owner. You might also consider paying by credit card if that’s an option, she says, which can make it easier to file a dispute if requested repairs or other complaints aren’t resolved.

 

7) “I never wanted to do this.”

The recession has generated plenty of “accidental” landlords -- property owners who wanted to sell, but can’t find a buyer. At first glance, the surge seems like a boon for renters. Inexperienced landlords’ biggest and most common mistake is not asking for enough rent, says Steve Dexter, who operates more than a dozen properties throughout Southern California and teaches real estate investment seminars. But that poor financial management can also mean a substantial rent increase upon renewal, or worse, living in a poorly-maintained home at greater risk of foreclosure.

A tenant’s best defense is to ask questions about the landlord and the property’s history, Dexter says. Among the important ones: how long has the property been a rental? Why is the landlord renting it out? If the answers involve anything that reflects on the recession or the landlord’s need to increase his cash flow, be cautious. Look for foreclosure and sale notifications on sites such as RealtyTrac, StreetEasy and Zillow.com.

 

8) “If you smoke, you can’t rent.”

The Fair Housing Act prohibits landlords from discriminating against a number of groups -- but smokers aren’t one of them. So discriminate they do. Although smokers account for 20% of U.S. adults in most cities, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a search of New York City apartment listings on Craigslist turned up just six explicitly allowing smoking. Nearly 700 explicitly prohibited it. Their reasoning: once a rental property is occupied by a smoker, it’s tough to rent to non-smokers without a thorough, expensive cleaning that includes repainting the walls and professionally cleaning the carpets, says Matt Kuhlhorst, who rents out four single-family homes in Allen, Texas. “Even if the tenant doesn’t get their deposit back, that’s still not enough to cover the cost,” which can easily top $2,000, he says.

Laws in several states require landlords to disclose smoking policies upfront, so if it’s important for you to be able to light up indoors check the details before signing a lease. Policy violators could find themselves facing loss of their security deposit or eviction, if their smoke wafts into a non-smoker’s domain. And if a chain-smoking neighbor is in violation, your landlord will be glad to take your complaints—it’s one thing that will allow him to evict a tenant.

 

9) “What you see is what you get.”

The rusty, cracked stove was nearly a deal-breaker for an otherwise great apartment in Boston’s North End. But the landlord promised to replace the clunker and make other repairs, so Joanna DiTrapano and her roommate signed a one year lease in March. Suddenly, the landlord’s tune changed -- although the gas company documented the dangerous stove leaking gas, he insisted it wasn’t damaged enough to warrant replacing. It took six months, numerous phone calls and finally, a formal letter citing city tenants’ rights laws to get a new stove, DiTrapano says. The smaller repairs the landlord promised? She’s simply given up.

Some landlords were never good about making necessary repairs, but the recession has forced many to postpone anything that isn’t absolutely vital, says Dave Zundel, a co-founder of Arizona property management firm HomeLovers. The firm has seen a 70% drop in maintenance projects, and just 13% of landlords are still spending on regular upkeep and cosmetic improvements such as replacing worn carpets or repainting. Your safest bet is to assume the condition of the apartment you’re viewing is about what it will be when you move in, Zundel says. If the landlord promises to make repairs, get it in writing.

 

10) “You’ll pay for my rebellion.”

The building or community homeowners’ association may have it in for you. Some renters -- and owners – learn this the hard way, Abkemeier says. During the downturn, many associations have taken steps to limit owners’ ability to rent out property, or require extensive screening before a lease can be signed. And owners who try to avoid or ignore the rule-changes end up making it difficult on tenants who suddenly find themselves faced with lengthy rental applications or fines for a litany of association rules they never knew they had to uphold. The extra layer of administration can also make it tough for tenants to get damage repaired, because they’re dealing with the building and not just the landlord.

Check the association rules (aka covenants, conditions and restrictions, or CCRs) before signing a lease, she suggests. Also check whether the association will fine the property owner or reach out to you directly, to better head off problems.

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